I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize