her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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