new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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