You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
