Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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