READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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