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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
