you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
