I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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