please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
