I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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