Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
