Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
