and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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