Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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