Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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