If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
