i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
