she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
