she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
