So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
