I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
