Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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