why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
