The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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