You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
