You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
