Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
