My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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