i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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