i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
