Umm I'm too high to move.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
