how can u be prego again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
