he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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