You can't motorboat a personality
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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