I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
