I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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