Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
