if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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