then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
