alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this boner is exhausting
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize