Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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