u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
