Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
