If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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