I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize