I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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