I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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