Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
