Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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