I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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