Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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