i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
