I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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