all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
