ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
