so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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