i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
