i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I checked into jail on foursquare
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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