It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
