I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
