do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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