I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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