i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
