We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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