so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
