I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
