I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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