PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
