Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
