And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
