I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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