call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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