Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
