she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
